I'm Not A Girl Not Yet A Woman
by bubble-rouge08
Summary: **REPOST** This is... Hermione. Contemplating on her present life and how her two best friends helped her.


NOT A GIRL, NOT YET A WOMAN  
  
© CATE  
  
I used to think I had the answers to everything  
  
But now I know that life doesn't always go my way, yeah Feels like I'm caught in the middle That's when I realize  
  
Hermione Granger here, at your service! I'm the smartest student in Hogwarts of my batch. I had a 120% score, the perfect I must say, in the end of term exams in all 5 years of my Hogwarts stay. Thanks to my friend Harry Potter in our 4th year that I knew other curses, spells, and hexes that we are supposed to learn in our 6th year. My wizard pureblood friend, Ron Weasley provided me with essential wizard facts and information. I could use them because I am a muggle-born. My other classmates run to me for reviews, assignment help and other lectures. They say, "I know everything!" And to them, "You are the guru!"  
  
But to tell you the truth.to myself, I know NOTHING! I also thought I knew everything in this world both wizard and muggle. All the magical incantations, recipes for brews and potions, passwords, skills, actions and everything under the sun. But there is always a lot to learn.especially in life and love.  
  
All my life, I'm very spoiled rotten with my parents. Being an only child of a rich family, that's me! In one word, I always got what I want. I've never been on my own. When I received my letter from Hogwarts, my parents don't want me to go at first because my name was up for Oxford. I really wanted to go so I begged and pleaded to them for permission. They got a little fed up and I got their word. In my muggle life, that's the way I run. In here, the wizard world, it's not me.Harry got most of everything. I can't get what I want. The exact opposite, it's here. No matter how hard I try to persuade Harry and Ron not to do something stupid, they still heed their instincts. I tried to make them study and do their assignments but adventure and quidditch ranked more than those things.  
  
"I'll get over this, Hermione, don't worry," I always tell myself. "In your fourth year probably, you'll get the hang of it!" I guess, I managed to hold it for my 3rd year. Yeah.I thought so. I was a girl.no! Not a woman.  
  
I'm not a girl, not yet a woman All I need is time a moment that is mine While I'm in between I'm not a girl  
  
Hermione, there is your whole lifetime to change. You just have to wait for a right time to suck it all up and accept the fact that you don't own your world anymore. You can't have anything you want now. Hermione, you're not a kid anymore!  
  
There were a lot of changes you don't understand. While you're growing, you learn something each day. You might not notice it sometimes but it's there. You learn how to tolerate other people's rights and wrong's. You find out your strengths and weaknesses. You're not good in all things. Take quidditch for example. You can't even see the snitch even if it is on your face! You can't deny that you ARE falling in love. You don't know it's there.it's essential. But you do know it'll come. You don't know whom you had your heart with and whom you will lend it to. You ask yourself, "What if Malfoy or Harry or even Ron?!"  
  
There are a lot of questions in over your head. All of these are just waiting to be solved and enlightened. But knowing, you're shy to confide to others. These questions are not found in books. And they are not learned or mastered without experiencing them.  
  
Hermione, you have time to think it over. You're not a girl anymore.yet, not a woman.  
  
There is no need to protect me It's time that I learned to face up to this on my own, oh I've seen so much more than you know now So don't tell me to shut my eyes.  
  
I'm not innocent anymore. I know some things in life. I know how to handle my heart. But these are not enough to make me a better person. I need more.help, understanding, courage and love.  
  
I have friends.yes. My best pals are both boys, I'm not ashamed to say that. They saved my life back on our first year. They make me happy, laugh, angry, annoyed and miserable. But they're still my friends. Who are they? Of course, Harry and Ron! I love them both the same.  
  
They've been my shields from bad things and people who hate my kind.muggle- born. They saved me from a mountain troll. Ron tried to defend me from that horrible Draco when he called me Mudblood. Harry helped me get through the time Ron and I had a fight over Scabbers, Ron's rat and my cat, Crookshanks. They defended me against that Malfoy again in our 4th year even Harry and Ron have a little misunderstanding going on. Both of them have been my support through the years. They've been always there for me.  
  
I promised them that I'd get back to them someday. "Don't mention it," Harry said. "It's for a friend," Ron said one time. But Ron, Harry.I can handle this on my own now. You both are the parcels that give me my strength.  
  
I want you both to know that I'm not a girl. And you'll shape me to be a woman.  
  
03/27/2002 


End file.
